At 38, after resisting change for many years, and ignoring the warning signs of an impending ending, my life took a radical turn in 2014. Following the loss of a successful career which consumed every inch of my life, little did I realise that it was not the time for a new beginning but quite the opposite: my metaphorical death had begun. I was tail-spinning into an abyss, a huge void that had opened up filled with a lifetime of unacknowledged grief, unhealed wounds and a version of me that I needed to find. Lessons needed to be learned. An old skin needed to be shed. Beliefs needed to be dismantled. Ego-cide needed to occur.
My life, which had been remotely controlled via the diktats of modern culture: constant progress and striving for prestige, stopped in its tracks. It was time for me to break down the old version of me whilst the new version of me was forming. It was in this dark void space that I made my metaphorical heroine's journey, a reclamation of finding the true version of myself and a reclamation of my lost divine feminine.
I realised that darkness is good. Dark is not evil. It's the fecund place where we're planted, where we grow, where we transform. Where you fall, there lies your treasure. The key is being still for long enough to understand the treasure that needs to be found.
The fast-forward culture that we live in does not allow for rites of passage to transform and grow as we need to. When crisis comes our way, we are told to put a lid on it, to brush ourselves off and carry on striving forward. So when my life imploded in 2014, I behaved like the infallible come-back Queen.
Having trained in NLP and Hypnotherapy in 2013, I worked as self-discovery coach from 2014 to early 2017. But I realised along the way that I wasn't ready. Most days I felt like I was drowning, frantically treading water to keep my head above. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, my wings hadn't formed and I'd tried to rebirth my life too quickly. So I quit coaching in 2017 to pay attention to my healing, and stopped treading water to sink and drown into my darkness, to spend time with my dark inner goddess, to acknowledge the pain; to grieve what needed grieving.
In 2019, after a journey of radical self-discovery, and with creativity as my healer, I trained as Grief Recovery Specialist. It's now time for me to support and guide as many of you as possible traverse this journey.
If you're getting the profound feelings that life needs to change, and you're faced with a crossroads or an ultimate predicament. If you're worried about the unknown, or, if you've faced a sudden ending and been plunged into the unknown overnight
If you're lost in the void space and the darkness of your life, not knowing who you are anymore or where you belong. You may be experiencing loss of identity and immense grief of what used to be, feeling stuck in a liminal space.
Once the tears have dried and the resilience has returned, you're ready to come out of your cocoon of transformation and birth a new version of yourself. This time a version that come from the heart and soul space.